Belur, South India
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"Practice and all is coming," may be the most famous of Pattabhi Jois's sayings. A beacon of encouragement, it calms and reassures regardless of what one's practice may be—life, for that matter. It's all coming, all good, relax, just do your practice.
But the saying felt incomplete.
Practice and ALL IS COMING AND GOING, I typed.
Like our breath, all things are always coming and going. Truly we cannot hold on to anything, I thought.
Three plus years of injuries have come with some insights. When I started this particular yoga practice, poses came easily. It was fun, I liked the challenge, and with the blessing of a beginner's mind, I didn't know or worry if I were doing poses right or wrong. I read some Ashtanga lore, and thought—all good, and nope! you'll never get beyond first series. At some point something changed. I really liked getting new poses and doing them well. No problem if ego got involved because haha—higher self was throwing little self a bone. Of course, I was fooling myself.
So when injury arose, it allowed me to see that there was a certain psychological forcefulness, a subtle kind of violence present in both my asana practice and life. Though I may not have consciously used these words, the energy can be expressed with getting, acquiring, achieving, conquering, succeeding. I have often used the words finding a pose, a minor semantic improvement. Either way, much was taken away. On or off the mat, that energy does not work for me. It also seems what I am now calling—asana obsession—(any obsession really)—is an inevitable phase of contemporary culture and yoga (another topic altogether).
I do wonder, did historic yogis strive to "get" and "perfect" poses? Go to big classes? Look around and see if they were "better" than others? I doubt it. (Well, who knows—maybe they did at the Kumbha Mela, begun in 8th C.) My guess from looking at paintings and admittedly, idealizing them—is those yogis and ascetics just did poses as time and their bodies allowed. It was not an obsession, but one part of an integrated spiritual practice.
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Thinking about these ancient yogis sets me free from many contemporary cultural messages: just do it, no pain-no gain, nothing succeeds like success, etc. On the other hand, despite its cons, I am okay with the energy of contemporary democratic, organic yoga culture. It's an awareness practice, par excellence!
Awareness: Some time ago Greg noted that this one doesn't like to do a pose unless it's done perfectly. What? Ok, true, and where did that idea come from? As Christine pointed out today, it comes from the outside. More coming and going. Recalling and tapping into beginner's mind—I rediscover open, non-judgmental, accepting energy.
Deep bow to the teachers named in this post.
And so in yoga, as in life, while I am a perfectly imperfect manifestation, there is another theme—one of balance between effort/desire and acceptance; between indifference and allowing all things to be as they are. And beneath it all, is an infinite well of gratitude and love.
metta
Belur, South India
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Middle image is from the British Museum
