10/27/17

karmic dissonance : inferior glide




back yard gold

In the Western North Carolina mountains there has been a disagreement with calendar and trees lately. As time marched on, the mountains stayed stubbornly green until a few days ago, when leaves finally turned to gold and crimson. It is autumn; therefore it follows that colors will change in early October. This year that would be

wrong
a seasonal dissonance
(global warming?)

Other points of disharmony—less sweet and more jarring to me personally—are everywhere. The most obvious is #45 who presents himself one way and acts in another. Bluntly put, he lies to the point of making many of us gaslight-crazy.

More close to home are examples that led me to an epiphany and a namaste of gratitude. One is a teacher, who specializes in anatomy; who did a study on yoga and injuries; and who said, on the first day of a workshop, that he didn't want to change anyone's practice. It would follow that I (with recent shoulder surgery) might therefore, trust his adjustments and feedback and disregard my newly found caution with unknown (to me) teachers. I would be

wrong
a cognitive dissonance

A friend wrote a book on spiritual friendships. Therefore it followed (to me) that she would be open to discussing issues of concern to me and between us. Again,

wrong
a cognitive dissonance

Two months post surgery, I expected strong recovery of my Ashtanga practice and progress in chaturangas, jump backs, poses, strength, and stamina. I was

WRONG
cosmic karmic cognitive dissonance

After a very positive check-in with the Duke Sports Medicine team this week, I was given some shoulder exercises for the "inferior glide." As per my usual MO, I figured doing more and faster repetitions of that exercise would improve not just my shoulder but everything! Completely

WRONG
cognitive dissonance
later
EXTREME PAIN
not an iota of
 INFERIOR OR SUPERIOR GLIDE

However, other parts of me did glide.

Realizing the disunities are infinite, I am released from caring and fretting over my own (abbreviated) list of them. Discord is part of life. Maya is dissonance on both common and cosmic levels. And is there any one of us in the common realm—who unconsciously or consciously presents him or herself with total honesty?  (A post on FaceBook today nailed it, suggesting everyone dress themselves for Halloween the way they appear in their FB photos and posts.)

And so I am gliding: if I feel anger toward people and experiences that are incongruent to me, would I not then resent almost everything? Forget that. We are all at different places on the path, doing our best. We are going to meet and exude dissonance until we awaken. Accepting this part of life brings peace.

wrong...
well   
maybe...  

.... not. Because I am so broken hearted about this new shoulder pain, I am tormented by the fear the operation has been nullified, stem cells are quitting, and I'll never get back to the garden (my former Ashtanga practice.) And yet, am I not always in the Garden? Today for a short time on the mat, something in me just gave up trying and moved without any thought of gain, progress, or self-comparison. It was I believe, superior harmonic glide and totally

RIGHT
perfect
miraculous


metta
GRATITUDE


to feel the goal of yoga is finally possible."

10/2/17

73 Mayas


fall rose at Lake Junaluska, NC


Tao Te Ching - Lao Tsu - from chapter 16
Empty yourself of everything.
Let the mind rest at peace.
The ten thousand things rise and fall while the Self watches their return.
They grow and flourish and then return to the source.
Returning to the source is stillness, which is the way of nature.
The way of nature is unchanging.
Knowing constancy is insight...
Being at one with the Tao is eternal.
And though the body dies, the Tao will never pass away


The ten thousand things rise and fall while the Self watches their return.


Today, now, this week, this month, lately - not feeling any sentences, paragraphs, themes.

Though a lot has happened. So much has happened. Ten thousand things. Ten thousand.

Starter list of 73:
  1. fall 
  2. shoulder
  3. surgery
  4. yoga 
  5. strength
  6. pain
  7. the blues 
  8. Buddy Guy
  9. fall sounds
  10. windfall
  11. prana
  12. prajna
  13. heart beats
  14. deep red
  15. gold leaf
  16. bagging
  17. baggage
  18. leafing
  19. raw carrots 
  20. sprouted oatmeal cupcakes
  21. earthy
  22. leaving
  23. Bon Iver
  24. winter is coming
  25. daggers
  26. heartbreak
  27. therapy
  28. aging
  29. ashtanga homies
  30. friendship
  31. falling
  32. letting go 
  33. FaceBook
  34. politics
  35. #45
  36. vises
  37. headaches
  38. purple 
  39. Lululemon underwear
  40. raking 
  41. unwanted poplar saplings
  42. granite 
  43. skylight
  44. sun
  45. birthday
  46. stem cells
  47. roses 
  48. long stem 
  49. handstand
  50. balance
  51. equinox
  52. Sharath
  53. Mysore 
  54. idlis
  55. fermented
  56. backbends
  57. shoulder soldier
  58. making peace 
  59. loving
  60. warfare
  61. open hearted
  62. sleep
  63. cat nap
  64. cat eyes
  65. blind mice
  66. running
  67. Tesla
  68. yearning
  69. betrayal
  70. heartsong
  71. bird song
  72. Om mane padme hum
  73. one song
metta


The ten thousand things, the boundless multiplicity of Maya (illusion) is a Chinese expression used to mean the indefinite multitude of all forms and beings in manifest existence. - Internet


Form does not differ from emptiness; emptiness does not differ from form. 
Form itself is emptiness; emptiness itself is form. - Heart Sutra




from Rubin Museum, NYC

post script:  I originally intended this blob or blog to be for older Ashtangis to share what was going on with them. That never happened! Better suited for FB in this page —Ashtanga Home Practitioners (#50AY) and I am pleased that Ashtangis 50 and up are now sharing there.
Yoga, art, and everything else have so much blended together in this head/heart, that I've lost track of why I started blogging in the fist place .  -M