Playing Hard Ball in Ice Water

some people are 
they get things 
deeply—not just in the mind
Truth embraces them 
You get it
coos Truth 
No need to drop you 
in the icy rapids

Never been one of those 
Not I 
take me to the river
drop me 
in the sky 
and back 
so I can see 

spiritual hard ball

It has been a year of seeing the light, but not the easy way—the hard way. After an extremely painful episode of shoulder pain, another epiphany struck/forced itself on me.

I had been setting deadlines and goals in my yoga practice for quite a while. Very shortly after surgery I was cruising toward some of them, bending my arms back in prep for Kapotasana and doing (shoulder) weight bearing asanas. By a certain time or event (I told myself) I will do all the 65 push-ups in First Series, bind with my "bad" arm in Marichasana D; and my practice will be back to the "perfection" it was before the injury.

All very clear.

Of course, none of these things happened, but worse—because I overdid a certain physical therapy exercise with the certainty it would speed progress, I ended up not at square one, but far behind it.

My heart broke in tiny

icy pieces.





I am stepping onto my mat and into life—without a voice telling me what I should do, where I should be, ways to be better, and how I must always be something other than what I am.

Goodbye, Shoulder Soldier.
Hello, Soldier Pacifist.

Yes, there are some joyous and beautiful Surya Namaskars these days.
The idea of karma is that you continually get the teaching you need to open your heart. —Pema Chodron
...and the teaching needed to loosen your damn grip, I would add. We can get it the hard way or the easy way.

I'll take it either way—with gratitude.

metta love

Hakuin's MU

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