Magic and Mundane

note from Ladakh

1.
Note to Self
halahala is
a dark allusion to self
—gotta love Sanskrit
2.
Illusion
so unwind unbind
your halahala head tricks
—look at mojo go!


It's early February and the temperature is in the 60's. A lone morning birdsong has been heard; a bear has been spotted. Primordial possum encounters house cat. Warm sun comforts and thrills. All is gorgeously divine. And some of us are soaring toward the light.

Except. 
we have wax wings
and ice is melting

It's early February and temperature is in the 60's. Slightly creepy. No bear no daffodil no fly should reveal her face this early. Mating birdsongs and peeper's peeps should be saving their chants for future dates.

Except.
Ready or not, I want to trill a song, sprout green wings, lumber through forest, and fly, fly fly!


*********

Unwind Unbind
Very earthbound here lately and bingeing on The Sopranos. It has helped me see—we all live (with varying degrees of awareness) in our little worlds. Each reality, whether it be mafia, art, military, religious, business, yoga, environmental, academic, or other—has its own rules, beliefs, ideas of success. Illusory aspects of our realms are not easy to spot unless they belong to others' systems. (An overly obvious example is the crumbling codes and concepts of Trump-mind and Trumpism.) So thanks, Sopranos. (brilliant television IMHO)

Unwind Unbind
Lola sleeps a lot, even for a cat. She has cancer. She is being showered with huge amounts of love, attention, food, and neck scratches and then even more love.
May all creatures feel the magic, be well, and transition peacefully.

Unwind Unbind
Have been chewing on a trauma relating to a lifetimes ago failed friendship. Miles of mind tapes and tangled heart strings unwind. These words:

In trying to create a sense of comfort and relief from her own suffering this person made others responsible. —paraphrased words from a student of Adyashanti

Thinking most of us have been guilty of such illusion/mistakes at one time or another. And this person's comfort and relief, played out in particularly hateful, hurtful ways. 

"When our wounds cease to be a source of shame...we become....healers"
"...how do we hide our wounds?" 
"How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?" 
—Thoreau
Seeing/feeling how shame is related to abuse—is a small awakening. Gratitude.

Unwind Unbind
Had to leave Mysore yoga class after only a few standing poses this morning. Back was hurting bad. Felt I needed to only do backbends. Came home. Did a bunch (of dhanurasanas). Unwound. Feel fine. Go figure. Must be the new moon.

new moon new
green heart-wings
every minute
unfolding
rebirth renewal
and always metta

INSPIRE : EXPIRE : INSPIRE : EXPIRE : INSPIRE : EXPIRE : INSPIRE : EXPIRE : INSPIRE

Belur, South India

"Practice and all is coming," may be the most famous of Pattabhi Jois's sayings. A beacon of encouragement, it calms and reassures regardless of what one's practice may be—life, for that matter. It's all coming, all good, relax, just do your practice. 

Recently an insight struck after seeing an Ashtanga post. Marsha was attempting to bind in Supta Kurmasana after having given birth a few months before. Obviously this pose was an easy one for her pre-pregnancy, but there she was in the video—revealing she was no where near the bind. And then there was the conversation with John before Thanksgiving when we discussed gaining and LOSING poses. (My first experience with gain-loss shock was legs behind the head. Had believed that once you did a pose, that was it forever. Truth can be so rude!) The kicker in this flash was the guy on A. Home Practitioners site who posted a video of his "float" through asking for improvement suggestions.  You're doing fine—practice and all is coming.

But the saying felt incomplete.

Practice and ALL IS COMING AND GOING, I typed.
Like our breath, all things are always coming and going. Truly we cannot hold on to anything, I thought.

Three plus years of injuries have come with some insights. When I started this particular yoga practice, poses came easily. It was fun, I liked the challenge, and with the blessing of a beginner's mind, I didn't know or worry if I were doing poses right or wrong. I read some Ashtanga lore, and thought—all good, and nope! you'll never get beyond first series. At some point something changed. I really liked getting new poses and doing them well. No problem if ego got involved because  haha—higher self was throwing little self a bone. Of course, I was fooling myself.

So when injury arose, it allowed me to see that there was a certain psychological forcefulness, a subtle kind of violence present in both my asana practice and life. Though I may not have consciously used these words, the energy can be expressed with getting, acquiring, achieving, conquering, succeeding. I have often used the words finding a pose, a minor semantic improvement. Either way, much was taken away. On or off the mat, that energy does not work for me. It also seems what I am now calling—asana obsession—(any obsession really)—is an inevitable phase of contemporary culture and yoga (another topic altogether).

I do wonder, did historic yogis strive to "get" and "perfect" poses? Go to big classes? Look around and see if they were "better" than others? I doubt it. (Well, who knows—maybe they did at the Kumbha Mela, begun in 8th C.) My guess from looking at paintings and admittedly, idealizing them—is those yogis and ascetics just did poses as time and their bodies allowed. It was not an obsession, but one part of an integrated spiritual practice.

Thinking about these ancient yogis sets me free from many contemporary cultural messages: just do it, no pain-no gain, nothing succeeds like success, etc. On the other hand, despite its cons,  I am okay with the energy of contemporary democratic, organic yoga culture. It's an awareness practice, par excellence! 

Awareness: Some time ago Greg noted that this one doesn't like to do a pose unless it's done perfectly. What? Ok, true, and where did that idea come from? As Christine pointed out today, it comes from the outside. More coming and going. Recalling and tapping into beginner's mind—I rediscover open, non-judgmental, accepting energy.

Deep bow to the teachers named in this post.

And so in yoga, as in life, while I am a perfectly imperfect manifestation, there is another theme—one of balance between effort/desire and acceptance; between indifference and allowing all things to be as they are. And beneath it all, is an infinite well of gratitude and love.


metta

Belur, South India

Middle image is from the British Museum

Balancing Acts and —I Love You Raggedy Ann!

from the Bechtler Contemporary Museum show in Charlotte, NC:

"Wrestling the Angel" 

(art and religion)

Hints of fall today. As I considered the over ripeness of this late summer day, I thought of last Saturday when contemporary art, the heart (Raggedy Ann, my beloved childhood doll) spirituality, religion, seasons/change, and circles/wheel of life and rebirth—came together, as they always seem to do.

The painting above is part of an art and spirituality exhibition featuring artists such as Chagall, Roualt and regional artists, Gina Gilmour and others. Also included was Niki De Saint Phalle's "Cathedrale." It's a contemporary interpretation of a Gothic cathedral sculpture like the one at Strasbourg, and both remind me of the 12th Century temple at Belur, South India. Connections.

ALL ONE! 

"Cathedrale" by de Saint Phale, 20th C

Belur, South India 12th C,  Channakesava temple

Cathedral of Notre Dame de Strasbourg tympanum, 11-15th C

But I have digressed (into an art personna). Full circle in another way, came after the museum, when we went to John Bultman's workshop. John's teaching - asana practice and conference felt very open and accepting. With all the changes in my mind, body, and heart after shoulder surgery, I  felt his spaciousness allowed and reinforced what had happened to me: the dropping of the perfect and more asana-obsession. Without that overriding focus, there is now space in my head and heart for the other limbs to more fully enter and enlighten—from Yama to Samadhi.

It's about balance, also. There is a yoga sutra verse (2:46) that says asana should be relaxed but stable ("steady and comfortable"). Another middle way—is asana breath or "free breathing" as Sharath calls it. Asana breathing is NOT Ujai.* It is a breath with just enough sound for the practitioner to hear/be aware of. Ujai is a special and loud Pranayama breath. (Apparently Pattabhi Jois did not have the English words to explain this distinction.) 

So we balance effort and relaxation in yoga poses and with the breath in doing those poses—in all of the limbs, and in life. 

Coincidentally, in my meditation practice I am focusing on another type of balance, the union of opposites. It's been blissful and terrible - which I guess is exactly one of the unions to go for. Though I've still got some icky stuff from long ago to work through, it feels like I've burned through a LOT in the last ten years. 

I am crystalline over ashes.

I teeter in balancing poses.

I am the Virgin and Raggedy Ann.

The Equinox nears!

The Middle Way. Balance. 8 Fold Path. 8 Limbs.

ALL!

ONE!

metta

*Ujai creates heat, and might be used in asana practice on a cold day or as one needs it. The breath info comes from Sharath via John Bultman. 🙏🏽 

Also, interestingly, David Garrigues newsletter yesterday featured his answers regarding breath. Garrigues said the same thing about ujai - but with different words. 

Once upon a Time and the Big Bang

How did it come to be almost summer?
Where is yesterday's snow? 

In the all at once? In the every little thing?

Was there a huge cloud?

Was there a big crowd?

Isn't the heat oppressive?

Do you remember that time? 

Wasn't it a windless, cloudless day? 

Do you remember that sound? 
Was there a big bang?
Isn't the heat oppressive? Shivering from the cold?

 now     forever    now 
ever becoming
finished

inhale 
the exhale
 infinitely finite

know naught

we astronauts
k n o w  n o t

the endless knot
the imponderable

m  e  t  a

In my little universe, the novel Buried Giant comes to mind right now. Ichiguro's focus on memory and writing style made me wonder if I had forgotten part of the story. It felt like I was experiencing the same memory gaps as his characters. What an example it is of art expressing  the truth of our human reality, worlds better than any explaining could ever do.

So...wondering if it's time to quit all this wordy stuff. The truth, from cosmic to mundane cannot be expressed—pointed, glimpsed at maybe—as the moon is reflected in water. Nevertheless, here's my little world of—healing shoulders, yoga mats, art, music, meditation, changing relationships, growing awareness and joy. 

Have learned so much humility and acceptance from this rascally and injurious shoulder! 10 months (since surgery) and every single day I get on my mat - not knowing or having a clue how it will feel or if what I do to "regain" my practice will injure it. 

An adventure it is. Outer space it is. And is this not true about (my) life in general? I think so. 

Every day, if we are open (or forced to be open to it, like YT) is a completely new experience and discovery. Why you are fearing, Sharath used to say to me. No answers yet, my Teacher,  just the freedom that comes from walking into and experiencing a garden.....variety of fears. 

And more—every day I grieve, am outraged, and feel helpless during these times of political turmoil and cruelty. Nightmares come true. Surely beyond voting in November there must be a way right now in particular to relieve suffering and affect change. 

Have been fostering cats, thinking about all of the above, and watching how the ultimate clarity of a retreat becomes altered as "ordinary" life resumes. I am open to wherever things lead and to what ever role appears in this journey. Hope it shows up soon. I'm not young. 

LOVE

The Animism of Catechism

from Ajanta Caves, India

Got snowed-in a lot these past two months and started streaming various movies and TV shows. Among them were Breaking Bad and Big Little Lies. Both TV series dealt with degrees of dishonesty in all their characters. In Breaking Bad, there were examples of extreme forms of corruption in characters who had lost connection to conscience and heart.

INTERESTING

balancing these excellent studies (IMHO) of our dark sides, was a wonderful documentary about Buddhist nuns. Several western women who, led by a Rinpoche, visited various remotely located nunneries in Tibet. The contrast between the complexity of the westerners' lives seemed to highlight the clarity, wisdom, and naturalness of the Tibetan nuns. I went to sleep that night and woke up the next morning and the next—repeating

SIMPLICITY

This one-word mantra is calming. 

There is so little simplicity in social media these days. It has become a place where we put up only posters/memes. I've come to miss the days when people posted pictures of their meals! But sometimes there are cracks in the wall. A friend posed a New Year's question, what are your personal concerns? She got lots of honest FB answers, every one of which resonated with me. The

QUESTIONS

for me are on-going investigations into relationships past and present, and the heart of service. Am feeling answers to these and to all questions may be found in nothing special or may actually BE nothing special, simple things like listening and sharing anything—money, time, good energy to individuals and groups, art that raises awareness, and by living all 8 limbs of yoga and sitting in silence. Will see.

SEEING

both cosmic and everyday truths have been a transcendent gift these days. My mind scrambles and shuts down at the inability to grasp infinite vastness and smallness, no beginning no end. 

"MU" 

(enough said)

artist: Hakuin

And here I digress to the subject of grade school Catholic catechism that may have prepared me, in its own uniquely rote way for an Advaita view of our existence in the cosmos. 

Q: Where is God?

A: God is everywhere.

OMG! 

God is in ALL things. Everywhere.

LOL and LO! The beautiful but unsuspecting 

animism of catechism! 

Laniakea 

The Laniakea supercluster is home to Ikea and the Milky Way—and about 100,000 galaxies.

Red dot is site of our galaxy.

Q: Had God a beginning?
A: God had no beginning; 

He always was and He always will be.*

*Law of physics (and catechism?): matter can neither be created or destroyed. 

Then all matter always was and always will be. 

Glory be! So everything at least, in part— 

including us—is infinite. 

Because god is EVERYWHERE

SIMPLE

LOGICAL

CONCISELY HUGE 

IMMENSE

yes, (and joyous) are the implications.

As for another concern, it's time. Will save it for later 

to save it. Am beginning to believe that 

everything IS happening 

all at once

is it real? b/c it's 

always 

n  o  w

and then there's me trying 

to save time save more save more.

Mental perceptions measure movement, it's time

parts of universe are moving at unbelievable 

speeds...the speed of 

l  i  g  h t...

particle or wave? 

what is real, real time?

brahma god everything nothing 

no-time no-thing is more 

(immense) than 

what time 

calls

l  o  v  e

IKEA

store is in Laniakea and so is my shoulder, and my shoulder feels very real and good right now. So I will get real: I am mostly—if I don't push getting somewhere too hard—pain free! Since there were so many things wrong with my shoulder, (have I listed them here before?) surgery HAD to fix something!  Torn labrum, 4 bone spurs, tendinitis, shredded tissue, bursitis, and osteoarthritis. 

Whether the stem cells worked or not I will probably never know because fixing all the other things may have done the job (and osteoarthritis doesn't always manifest pain.)

Very pleased and slowly getting back to a fuller, deeper home practice. Know I'm much better—because feeling need for group energy to jump-start (haha literally) chaturangas and other shoulder stressing poses. Mysore at AYA is on the list. YAY!

Image of Yogi on cover of Roots of Yoga

which I am loosely reading now.

Wonder how this guy's shoulders feel.

SIMPLE

loving blessings to all

metta

  

cabin fever : singularities

 December morning view, Waynesville, NC

Friday morning, I awoke to 

falling snow

crystalline so pure

so perfect—its mounds exude 

galaxies of hush

This little haiku and cabin fever got me. All I wanted to say was that there are no words (or photos) for this experience of new snow, but I couldn't just SAY that because only the poetic allusion and brevity of haiku could begin to express...   or maybe Mary Oliver gets close in First Snow * —"such an oracular fever"  "—not a single answer has been found—"

So snow level reached 14" by Saturday morning, making it impossible to get to or from this house on Balsalm Mountain. I caught up on business; took 2 or more hours with yoga practice; worked on art projects; started writing (this); laughed about cabin fever (this is day 3); walked in the snow with the cats; got snow in my boots; and took loads of pictures. 

friends taking a snow day

Maybe I have "oracular fever," not cabin fever? Thinking they are the same.

Either way, what I love about these kind of events is that they make a dent in everyday reality—habits, thoughts, patterns, schedules, everything! Forced to stay inside, having transportation restricted to walking in snow shoes, I start to look more closely at what I usually do and what I am able to do right now, and both take on new meaning. 

There is nothing like surprises, radical interruptions (and travel) to jump-start awareness and mental clarity. And sometimes these singularities—the second definition below is particularly fabulous and pertinent—appear/disappear in an instant and take on infinite value. 

1. The state, fact, quality, or condition of being singular. 

2. physics mathematics: a point at which a function takes an infinite value, especially in space-time when matter is infinitely dense, as at the center of a black hole. {to me this means black holes are truly form AND emptiness.*}  

• 
  

  
  

Who knows when a "singularity" in consciousness may occur? Several years ago, after one of my first experiences with Ashtanga yoga (Jason's class), I went to do some shopping at Earth Fare, an ordinary health food store on an ordinary day (though I did feel a little spacey). 

Looking at a shelf of sugar substitutes, suddenly I heard the most amazing sounds. Music so brilliant and exquisite I was awestruck, ecstatic (no adequate words.)

Then something rearranged itself, and I was hearing a very ordinary, familiar tune, the health food store equivalent of Muzak, maybe. How deeply and sweetly I had traveled in such a short time! 

I have experienced more than a few of these singularities, interruptions, or interferences with "normal" consciousness. Some deep, short, scary, euphoric, or wide. I am grateful for them all, from snow induced oracular fever, to transcendent Muzak. 

Are divine and mundane so different? 
Is the answer in the silent galaxies or the mound of snow? 
In the sound of Aum or the advert jingle?

As Mary Oliver said, "—not a single answer has been found—"

*Heart Sutra: 
"Form is emptiness. Emptiness is form." 
"Gate gate paragate parasamgate Bodhisvaha" 
Gone from forgetfulness to mindfulness. Gone from duality into non-duality. Utterly beyond to awakening.


*Thanks, Kathleen H., who posted Mary Oliver's First Snow poem on FaceBook today. Perfect: Oracular Fever!!

Rishikesh friend with keys 

Playing Hard Ball in Ice Water

some people are 

lucky

they get things 

deeply—not just in the mind
Truth embraces them 

oh 

so 

gently

You get it

coos Truth 

No need to drop you 

in the icy rapids

Never been one of those 

Not I 

No 

take me to the river

drop me 

in the sky 

and back 

so I can see 

de-

light

spiritual hard ball

It has been a year of seeing the light, but not the easy way—the hard way. After an extremely painful episode of shoulder pain, another epiphany struck/forced itself on me.

I had been setting deadlines and goals in my yoga practice for quite a while. Very shortly after surgery I was cruising toward some of them, bending my arms back in prep for Kapotasana and doing (shoulder) weight bearing asanas. By a certain time or event (I told myself) I will do all the 65 push-ups in First Series, bind with my "bad" arm in Marichasana D; and my practice will be back to the "perfection" it was before the injury.

All very clear.

Of course, none of these things happened, but worse—because I overdid a certain physical therapy exercise with the certainty it would speed progress, I ended up not at square one, but far behind it.

My heart broke in tiny

icy pieces.

Gasp.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Grace—amazing

I am stepping onto my mat and into life—without a voice telling me what I should do, where I should be, ways to be better, and how I must always be something other than what I am.

Goodbye, Shoulder Soldier.
Hello, Soldier Pacifist.

Yes, there are some joyous and beautiful Surya Namaskars these days.

The idea of karma is that you continually get the teaching you need to open your heart. —Pema Chodron

...and the teaching needed to loosen your damn grip, I would add. We can get it the hard way or the easy way.

I'll take it either way—with gratitude.

metta love

Hakuin's MU

karmic dissonance : inferior glide

back yard gold

In the Western North Carolina mountains there has been a disagreement with calendar and trees lately. As time marched on, the mountains stayed stubbornly green until a few days ago, when leaves finally turned to gold and crimson. It is autumn; therefore it follows that colors will change in early October. This year that would be

wrong
a seasonal dissonance

(global warming?)

Other points of disharmony—less sweet and more jarring to me personally—are everywhere. The most obvious is #45 who presents himself one way and acts in another. Bluntly put, he lies to the point of making many of us gaslight-crazy.

More close to home are examples that led me to an epiphany and a namaste of gratitude. One is a teacher, who specializes in anatomy; who did a study on yoga and injuries; and who said, on the first day of a workshop, that he didn't want to change anyone's practice. It would follow that I (with recent shoulder surgery) might therefore, trust his adjustments and feedback and disregard my newly found caution with unknown (to me) teachers. I would be

wrong

a cognitive dissonance

A friend wrote a book on spiritual friendships. Therefore it followed (to me) that she would be open to discussing issues of concern to me and between us. Again,

wrong

a cognitive dissonance

Two months post surgery, I expected strong recovery of my Ashtanga practice and progress in chaturangas, jump backs, poses, strength, and stamina. I was

WRONG

cosmic karmic cognitive dissonance

After a very positive check-in with the Duke Sports Medicine team this week, I was given some shoulder exercises for the "inferior glide." As per my usual MO, I figured doing more and faster repetitions of that exercise would improve not just my shoulder but everything! Completely

WRONG

cognitive dissonance
later

EXTREME PAIN

not an iota of
 INFERIOR OR SUPERIOR GLIDE

However, other parts of me did glide.

Realizing the disunities are infinite, I am released from caring and fretting over my own (abbreviated) list of them. Discord is part of life. Maya is dissonance on both common and cosmic levels. And is there any one of us in the common realm—who unconsciously or consciously presents him or herself with total honesty?  (A post on FaceBook today nailed it, suggesting everyone dress themselves for Halloween the way they appear in their FB photos and posts.)

And so I am gliding: if I feel anger toward people and experiences that are incongruent to me, would I not then resent almost everything? Forget that. We are all at different places on the path, doing our best. We are going to meet and exude dissonance until we awaken. Accepting this part of life brings peace.

wrong...

well   

maybe...  

.... not. Because I am so broken hearted about this new shoulder pain, I am tormented by the fear the operation has been nullified, stem cells are quitting, and I'll never get back to the garden (my former Ashtanga practice.) And yet, am I not always in the Garden? Today for a short time on the mat, something in me just gave up trying and moved without any thought of gain, progress, or self-comparison. It was I believe, superior harmonic glide and totally

RIGHT

perfect

miraculous

metta

GRATITUDE

to feel the goal of yoga is finally possible."

73 Mayas

fall rose at Lake Junaluska, NC

Tao Te Ching - Lao Tsu - from chapter 16

Empty yourself of everything.

Let the mind rest at peace.

The ten thousand things rise and fall while the Self watches their return.

They grow and flourish and then return to the source.

Returning to the source is stillness, which is the way of nature.

The way of nature is unchanging.

Knowing constancy is insight...

Being at one with the Tao is eternal.

And though the body dies, the Tao will never pass away

The ten thousand things rise and fall while the Self watches their return.

Today, now, this week, this month, lately - not feeling any sentences, paragraphs, themes.

Though a lot has happened. So much has happened. Ten thousand things. Ten thousand.

Starter list of 73:

1. fall 
2. shoulder
3. surgery
4. yoga 
5. strength
6. pain
7. the blues 
8. Buddy Guy
9. fall sounds
10. windfall
11. prana
12. prajna
13. heart beats
14. deep red
15. gold leaf
16. bagging
17. baggage
18. leafing
19. raw carrots 
20. sprouted oatmeal cupcakes
21. earthy
22. leaving
23. Bon Iver
24. winter is coming
25. daggers
26. heartbreak
27. therapy
28. aging
29. ashtanga homies
30. friendship
31. falling
32. letting go 
33. FaceBook
34. politics
35. #45
36. vises
37. headaches
38. purple 
39. Lululemon underwear
40. raking 
41. unwanted poplar saplings
42. granite 
43. skylight
44. sun
45. birthday
46. stem cells
47. roses 
48. long stem 
49. handstand
50. balance
51. equinox
52. Sharath
53. Mysore 
54. idlis
55. fermented
56. backbends
57. shoulder soldier
58. making peace 
59. loving
60. warfare
61. open hearted
62. sleep
63. cat nap
64. cat eyes
65. blind mice
66. running
67. Tesla
68. yearning
69. betrayal
70. heartsong
71. bird song
72. Om mane padme hum
73. one song

metta

The ten thousand things, the boundless multiplicity of Maya (illusion) is a Chinese expression used to mean the indefinite multitude of all forms and beings in manifest existence. - Internet

Form does not differ from emptiness; emptiness does not differ from form. 

Form itself is emptiness; emptiness itself is form. - Heart Sutra

from Rubin Museum, NYC

post script:  I originally intended this blob or blog to be for older Ashtangis to share what was going on with them. That never happened! Better suited for FB in this page —Ashtanga Home Practitioners (#50AY) and I am pleased that Ashtangis 50 and up are now sharing there.
Yoga, art, and everything else have so much blended together in this head/heart, that I've lost track of why I started blogging in the fist place .  -M

The Yard Buddha and a Meat Purchase

Yard Buddha

Above is an ordinary, nothing special Buddha (with lichen spots) who has been sitting in my yard in Asheville for several years, and throughout it all, he has been consistently still and calm. In all circumstances and weather, covered in snow, leaves, poison ivy, or pounded by rain and heat waves, his subtle smile is unwavering. He has been completely unruffled by Trump's election, greed, twitters, corruption, and narcissism. He calmly faces threats to climate and civilization, and as for changes in immediate landscape—new moss carpet, pine needles, flowering plants—and his appearance—coats of spray paint (to cover lichen), Windex baths, he is completely indifferent. His smiles at me serenely, regardless of my changing moods, illusions, and suffering. I am in awe of him for these things and particularly struck by his disregard of bitter cold, something I cannot bear. 

And If it sounds like I view him as a living being, I do. In one flash of awareness he was this remarkable creature of pure equanimity, chilling out in the yard for years on end, and in the next, he was the unchanging being/truth inside me and us all. 

Yes, alive! Outside and within. And at the same time, an idea I had always considered this way: pictures or statues of deities, enlightened and holy beings are merely attractive symbols for the religious-minded and the hipster to display or masterpieces for art historians to study (the latter—me, now and then.) And so it follows that if I had met this Buddha guy coming down the road at one time in the past, I would have killed him. 

Maybe.

Note:  “If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him” is from a koan attributed to Zen Master Linji, founder of the Rinzai sect. There are various interpretations, but I prefer - whatever your concept or image of the Buddha and enlightenment is—get rid of it!  IMO using the word "kill" is just shocking enough to stun the Buddhist-trained mind into silence/emptiness. 

Maybe not. 

Maybe I'm not an iconoclast any more, or just a selective one. Am thinking of the power of Tibetan Buddhist images and how they are intended for the creator and viewer to transcend ego/illusion. My heart and soul need these masterpieces, but apparently spirit can also be moved by a mere lawn ornament or a piece of meat(!)* (See story below)

17th C. Tibetan thanka of Guhyasamaja Akshobyavajra, Rubin Museum of Art

Anyway— this nothing-special Buddha led to something 

recognition

gratitude

whatever

much needed.

In the midst of the political and world messes and my personal joys, euphoria, heartaches, and physical and psychological pain (shoulder/yoga practice/surgery) there is something unchanging and forever. It's there like the Buddha's smile, no matter what. 

I've scheduled surgery with stem cell therapy in August.

Yard Buddha: still smiling.

*Story : Equanimity : Enlightened by Meat:

When Banzan was walking through a market he overheard a conversation between a butcher and his customer. 

"Give me the best piece of meet you have," said the customer. 

"Everything in my shop is the best," replied the butcher. "You cannot find here any piece of meat that is not the best." 

At these words Banzan became enlightened.

deep bow

metta