Heart Pounds : Grass Grows

  the offerings of an unaided heart

Good will and evil have no self nature; Holy and unholy are empty names;

In front of the door is the land of stillness and quiet;

Spring comes, grass grows by itself.     

 —Master Seung Sahn

On July First, floodgates opened. It was the end of the big drag—the first time in weeks Mercury had moved free of retrograde. 

 small lock, monster handle

That morning even as I awoke, I felt blessed, elated. After several pleasant surprises, I opened an envelope containing an unexpected windfall, and for a couple of hours my spirits and imagination were in the sky. I set out joyfully performing various earthly tasks while envisioning down payments on verdant acreage and elaborate new art enterprises.

Later, pondering the reason for my godsend with someone far more grounded in financial matters than I, he quietly pointed out that the abbreviation "hz" signified something—something that was profoundly disturbing to me. 

How quickly things change. 

I'd had one head in the clouds; another, in the sand. Now both had been slammed together into truth: this manna was not from heaven. It was from the other place! Seriously distressed, I considered my values. What is right? What should I do? 

....an ethical precept is a question to be held up to the light of circumstance, an inquiry rather than an answer. And the nature of this inquiry is not so much the dubious enterprise of trying to figure out the right thing to do as it is an offering of an unaided heart... At the threshold of choice, the Zen Buddhist trusts this ancient heart above all other authority.
—Lin Jensen, "An Ear to the Ground"

Someone else offered Zen wisdom (above), and I began to explore. What is the unbiased truth about all these things I've heard? What is my "ancient heart" telling me? Can I turn this blessing/curse into something beneficial to others? 

 "No mud, no lotus," says Thich Naht Hanh. 

From an unholy place something beneficial and delightful may grow. Had I denied the mud, the possibility of a metaphorical lotus would never have occurred to me. And so my heart pounds with many sweet, resonating rhythms. Each seems to say what I feel: trust the heart's emanations and regard joy - sorrow, good - bad, success - failure—with equanimity—on the mat and off.

Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, “yoga chittah vritti nirodah”:
yoga is the cessation of the fluctuations of the mind.  

When we start yoga we experience many things—ups and downs in our practice. If there is pain, enjoy the pain also....  Practice brings mental stability Experience both good and bad; take sukkha and dukkha equally—Sharath Jois

metta